[NCLUG] origin of the internet

[Jim Ankrum]

 TRUE ORIGINS OF THE INTERNET

     The true origins of the Internet: An old, bearded shepherd with a
 crooked staff walked up to a stone pulpit and said, "And lo, it came to
 pass  that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto
 himself a young wife by the name of Dot." And Dot Com was a comely
 woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been
 called Amazon Dot Com.
     And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far,
 from town to town, with thy goods when thou can trade without ever
 leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were
 several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How,
 Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums
 in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they
 will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be
 made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

     Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way
 with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate
 success. Abraham sold all the goods he had, at the top price, without
 ever moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy.

     A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and
 was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to
 Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They
 were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS
 for short. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the
 new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that
 the real riches were going to! the drum maker, one Brother William of
 Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did
 insist on making drums that would work only if you bought Brother Gates'
 drumsticks.

     And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being
 taken over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of
 Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay," he said, "we need a name
 that reflects what we are," and Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew
 Owner Operators." "Whoopee!" said Abraham. "No, YAHOO!" said
 Dot Com...and that is how it all began.

 It wasn't Al Gore after all.